Get great books on animals from Amazon.com
PinkSunrise.com | Families-First.com | Homeschool Zone | Event-of-the-Week | Bookstore | Search

Join the PetCorner Discussion Group
Animal books from Amazon.com

see the interview with Deb Wood
see the breed profile for Papillon

Chapter Three: Little things mean a lot

You interact with your dog in thousands of little ways every day. Those little interactions, and the underlying messages they give to your dog, have enormous power to heal or to harm your timid friend.

Whether you’ve just brought home your fearful dog or you've had her for years, today is the day to start the transition that will change your dogs life. It doesn't matter whether your dog is a shy six-month old puppy who has been loved and well cared for since the day she was born, or whether she is an abused, older dog you rescued. Your dog can't get better until you set the tone and make change happen. Communicating confidence to your dog doesn't take a second of extra time. The use of your voice, body posture and general tone you set with your dog have enormous power to heal. Try these little steps that can bring about big changes in your shy dog.

Don't Reward Shy Behavior

Never pet your dog when she's acting shy and fearful. If you do, you're reinforcing the fearful behavior. Instead, ignore it. Pretend the dog isn't shivering. Disregard the puddle of submissive urination. These are uncontrollable acts at this time from your dog. Over time, these behaviors will disappear.

Reward the behavior you want. Pet your dog when she's acting in a more outgoing, bold manner. Give her a treat when she's being calm in a new situation. Ignoring shy behavior and rewarding bold behavior will help the dog learn to act more confident.

Of course, this is easier to say than to do. When a loud noise startles your dog, the most natural thing in the world is to hold her in your arms and reassure her that she'll be all right. You have to break the habit of your own behavior before your dog can learn to break the habit others.

The next time you hear that loud noise and your dog jumps, smile at her and look relaxed. In a happy, confident voice say, "Don't worry, Princess, it's just noise." When you give the dog no cue that she should be afraid, it will greatly diminish her fear reaction.

Examine your body language, how you hold your leash and how you interact with your dog. For her to believe that she has nothing to fear, you must demonstrate daily through your body language that she isn't a victim. This will be difficult at first, because you know how hard life is for her. But her life will remain hard for her to bear until she begins to view herself as a confident dog—she can do that only if she sees confidence reflected in your eyes.

Give Non-threatening Greetings

Never approach your dog with your hand stretched out above her head. Placing your arm above a dog's head is the most threatening possible approach you can give a fearful dog. Instead of reaching out to pet the top of her head, reach down and scratch her chin or chest. This will make a big difference in your dog's ability to relax with you. Make sure other people who pet your dog do the same.

How much difference can this little thing make? One person told me about a dog who submissively urinated every time someone petted her. Upon a friend's suggestion, the owner stopped reaching over the dog's head. That minor adjustment completely solved the dog's submissive urination problem! Whether your dog shows her anxiety through urination, cringing or just a disinterest in being petted, a non-threatening chin or chest scratch can increase your dog's quality of life.

Don't Necessarily Squat

Countless dog books will tell you to squat down to the dog's level when greeting a shy dog. Those countless books aren't necessarily right, though. For many shy dogs, a squatting human is very intimidating.

As one experienced dog trainer explained it, a Great Dane would probably see a squatting person as very non-threatening, since by squatting the person becomes smaller than the dog and makes the dog feel dominant. A mid-sized dog, such as a Golden Retriever, might see a squatting person as an equal. To a small dog, however, the change in shape can be terrifying. In addition, some dogs don't like the thought of a human transforming into some strange, new shape. For this dog, the human isn't behaving in normal human ways, and that makes her more nervous. Instead of wanting to get closer to that person, the fearful dog is even more motivated to pull away. If the dog is a fear-biter, the person squatting on the ground is in considerable danger of a receiving a nasty bite.

Twice I have seen otherwise sane and knowledgeable dog lovers lie down on the ground to reassure a small, fearful dog. In both cases, the dogs were clearly disturbed by this odd human behavior.

Watch your dog to see what postures make her feel most comfortable. If a squatting person makes her feel confident, then squat. If an upright posture seems more to her liking, stay on your own two feet.

As your dog becomes confident and you begin desensitizing her to things that make her nervous, expose her to people who are squatting and rolling around on the ground. Your dog will probably never be impressed by these human antics, but she can become used to them over time.

Don't Stare

Direct, strong eye contact is a dominant behavior in dogs. Avoid staring at your dog, and never force her to look into your eyes. When looking at your dog, use a soft expression, not a penetrating stare. With your soft, gentle looks of love, your shy dog will find you much more approachable.

Keep the Paws on the Ground

Look at your dog's feet. If she's a small dog, are her paws on the ground when you go for your walk? Are you carrying her instead of letting the poor dog walk? Put the dog on the ground! Not only does this get your dog the exercise she needs, but your signal to her when you carry her is that she's in danger. It's scary to put your little dog on the ground of this big world, but remember that you're adding to the fearful quality of her life when you hold her. Soon you'll notice that she acts more confident when she's walking than when she's being carried. She'll learn she's a real dog and can have a real life.

Of course, use good sense with a small dog. Little dogs are in real danger from attacks and even overly enthusiastic play from a large dog. If a situation puts your dog in danger, of course you should carry her. One owner of a small dog said, "My dog must always know that I would never put her in a situation in which another dog will harm her. One breach of trust, and we'd have to start all over." It's your job as your dog's protector to decide if the situation puts your dog in real danger. If the situation is safe but the dog is nervous, let her learn to walk on her own four feet.

Get There Early

Nervous dogs take longer than more confident dogs to relax in a new situation. Go to new places before everyone else shows up so that your dog will have time to get used to the environment before she has to get used to all the people. Arrive at training class 15 minutes before everyone else, or be the first one to show up at the family picnic. Not only does this give your dog time to get acclimated to a new place, but in dog terms, the first dog on the scene has "dibs" on the territory. From this standpoint, arriving early gives your dog a better sense of confidence to be on "her" turf. Allowing your dog a bit of extra time to get her bearings may take a few minutes from your day, but it will make any stressful experience for your dog a lot easier for you both to bear.

Keep a Regular Routine

All dogs like routine and structure, but nervous dogs in particular are reassured by a regular routine. Plan walks, mealtimes, grooming and other daily activities at about the same time each day. These occurrences will be less nerve-wracking to your dog if she knows when to expect them.

see the interview with Deb Wood
see the breed profile for Papillon

click here to get our FREE newsletter and join our petlovers, cooking, crafts, health, education & other groups

Dog Breed Profile
Coloring Page
This is a great picture you can print out and color.

Help for Your Shy Dog:
Turning Your Terrified Dog into a Terrific Pet
by Deborah Wood, Amy Aitken, Lorenz Arner

This book is a must for anyone instructing dog training classes and a valuable source of sound advice for all other trainers who may now, or some day, have a shy dog. There are chapters on how to socialize a fearful dog, how to deal with submissive urnination, what to do about fear-biting, what to look for in a trainer, and other issues important to people who have shy dogs. The book also contains the stories of nine fearful dogs who transformed into wonderful family pets. Many of these dogs hold obedience titles, agility titles, and work as therapy dogs. These dogs prove that, with some help from the humans in their lives, shy dogs can exceed your highest expectations.

The Tao of Bow Wow:
Understanding and Training Your Dog the Taoist Way
by Deborah Wood

The Tao of Bow Wow is not just any dog training book. Part how-to, part primer in the ways of Tao, this unique guide to training and understanding your dog will revolutionize the way owners view their dogs. Not only does veteran dog trainer Deborah Wood explain how the principles of Tao can be used to train your dog in a clear, prescriptive fashion, but she also shows owners how to better communicate with and relate to their dogs using these same principles.

The Tao of Meow:
Understanding and Training Your Cat the Taoist Way
by Deborah Wood

The epitome of yin-yang, the cat is perfectly balanced between tame and wild, sociability and solitude, action and rest. Called inscrutable and mysterious, perhaps even recalcitrant, felines have been deemed difficult to understand and train. Not anymore. Using the kind, gentle principles of Taoism, veteran trainer Deborah Wood introduces her revolutionary "no force, no punishment" method of creating a loving, harmonious relationship with your cat . . . a companionship filled with unparalleled rewards and unconditional love.